


I Never Loved You Enough (My Love)

by joidianne4eva



Category: Penny Dreadful (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joidianne4eva/pseuds/joidianne4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Proteus didn’t remember the first time he died though Victor has assured him that the memories might return…Proteus wasn’t sure that he wanted them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Loved You Enough (My Love)

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd and down for the smallfandom fest round 15

Proteus didn’t remember the first time he died though Victor has assured him that the memories might return…Proteus wasn’t sure that he wanted them to.

He didn’t remember much of his second death either, nothing but the searing pain that his mind barely had a chance to register before the familiar darkness rushed up to meet him but he _did_ remember his second rebirth.

This time the room wasn’t dark, nor was the table beneath him cold.

The first thing that Proteus saw when he opened his eyes was Victor’s tear streaked face. This time Victor was the one who made the first move, his fingers brushing across Proteus’ cheek and he was surprised to see the wetness on them when Victor pulled back with a tremulous smile.

“Hurt,” Proteus grunted, trying to articulate what he could remember as he pressed his hand to his chest but Victor was quick to stop him and as Proteus caught sight of the new stitches he could understand why.

“That was my fault,” Victor told him as he eased Proteus upright so that he was sitting. “I didn’t think that he would follow me here.”

Proteus’ brows furrowed in confusion at the words because he had no idea who Victor was talking about. “Who?” he asked and Victor’s gaze skittered away from him, focusing on the shadows that lingered at the edge of the room.

“My first creation,” Victor whispered and Proteus could hear the disgust in his voice.

“Bad?” he inquired and Victor shrugged before refocusing on Proteus.

“Maybe or maybe I just did something wrong,” he admitted, a sad smile curling his lips. “He’s not like you. He’s a beast, a monster that wants nothing but to destroy everything I love.”

Proteus blinked slowly. There was something in Victor’s words, something that a part of Proteus’ mind tried to grasp but it slipped away before he could and he found himself listing to the side.

“Sleep,” he told Victor determined to not worry the doctor as Victor hurried to help him lower himself to the bed once more.

The sheets were cool beneath his skin as he closed his eyes and he could feel Victor’s breath against his nape, the low hum of Victor’s voice as the man spoke to him but Proteus was asleep before he could respond to Victor’s words.

*O*

When Proteus woke the second time, Victor was still there but this time the man was bent over a battered book that Proteus recognized as the one that Victor had let him choose his name from.

There were words that Proteus wanted to say but none of them settled well on his tongue.

“Read…” Victor’s head snapped up at that but Proteus was focused on what he wanted to say. “Read to me,” he finally said, meeting Victor’s pale eyes with a triumphant smile that his creator returned though Victor’s smile was a bit less steady than his own.

“If that’s what you want,” the man whispered and Proteus nodded, watching Victor curiously as he started to read.

“Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus: Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits. Were't not affection chains thy tender days, to the sweet glances of thy honour'd love, I rather would entreat thy company”

Proteus fell asleep to the sound of Victor’s voice and the feeling that once again he was missing something but as eyelids drooped he decided that he would ask Victor when he woke.

*O*

The third time Victor noticed Proteus was awake before he could say anything.

“I hope you slept well?” Victor inquired as he helped Proteus raise himself so that he was sitting up but even when he was settled Victor’s hand remained on his wrist. Proteus glanced down at it but decided that he liked Victor’s touch, after all who else should touch Proteus but Victor?

“Slept good…well,” Proteus corrected himself beaming at Victor when the man chuckled but when Victor made to pull away Proteus grabbed his hand before he could go. “Don’t leave.”

Victor’s eyes widened for a second before he dropped his other hand to cover the one that was still gripping his wrist, long fingers stroking Proteus’ skin.

“I won’t, I promise,” he whispered and Proteus let his hold slacken, smiling when Victor sat on the bed instead of returning to his chair.

“Where is monster?” the words didn’t sound right to Proteus but he was certain that Victor understood what he was asking because Victor knew everything.

“He’s dead,” Victor’s tone was cold in a way that Proteus had never heard it as he continued. “This time he’ll stay that way.”

“Not kill what you love?”

Victor shook his head, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “No he didn’t manage to.”

Proteus didn’t know why the words made his chest hurt but Victor must have because he frowned.

“Is something wrong?” he inquired softly but Proteus just shook his head because he didn’t have the words to tell Victor that the knowledge that he would never be what Victor loved made him feel ill. Victor had dealt with his first as if it was nothing more than a thing perhaps that was what Proteus was as well.

“Proteus, you must tell me what is wrong.”

This time Victor’s words carried a firm layer of steel that Proteus couldn’t ignore.

“Victor not love monster, Proteus monster.”

“You aren’t a monster, nor was he, not in the beginning. A man’s choice is what makes him evil not the circumstances of his birth…or re-birth in your case.”

Victor’s words from before reverberated in Proteus’ head, Victor had said the monster tried to kill what he loved and the monster had tried to kill….

“Victor love Proteus?” Proteus whispered and Victor smile widened as he raised Proteus’ wrist to his lips. The sensation made Proteus shiver even as his other hand tangled in the sheets that surrounded him.

“Victor is intensely fond of Proteus,” Victor responded and while the words were not his usual ones, Proteus could feel nothing but affection in the imitation. “And if I was to love anything then I could think of no better choice for a companion.”

“Love is having friends?” Proteus asked, his eyes tracking Victor’s every move.

“Love is passion and want, love is anger when the object of your affection is wronged or hurt. Love is need and warmth,” Victor explained as he tangled their fingers together. “And yes, love is a form of friendship as well. Do you understand?”

“Victor love Proteus,” Proteus whispered in awe as his maker smiled.

“Exactly.”

Proteus glanced away; his stomach felt strange again but in a good way and he tightened his grip on Victor’s fingers. “Proteus loves Victor,” he admitted and Victor’s laugh told him that his creator was happy in a way that words couldn’t.


End file.
